CONTESTED DIVORCE
There are two different types of divorces – contested divorce and uncontested divorce.
A contested divorce is one in which the parties cannot agree, either about getting divorced or about the terms of the divorce, such as the division of property and debts, retirement accounts, alimony, child support, or issues relating to who gets the children.
In an uncontested divorce, the spouses agree on everything and do not need the court to get involved.
The division of our firm dedicated to contested divorce is The Massachusetts Family Law Group, and the division of our firm that focuses on uncontested divorce is Massachusetts Flat-Fee Divorce Attorneys.
Once you understand the difference between the two, it would seem logical that taking the uncontested track is the more better approach to take. After all, a legal fight can involve discovery requests, subpoenas, depositions, and forensic audits – a recipe for disaster.
Unfortunately, not every spouse is level-headed at the beginning of the divorce process. Oftentimes, a spouse is in crisis, not necessarily thinking clearly, or frustrated that his or her spouse has told them their marriage is over. Other spouses would never even fathom an uncontested divorce because that way, they would never get their fight and their spouse’s punishment would be cut short.
Other common reasons our attorneys have found for refusal to bargain are one spouse’s desire to:
- Control what happens because they always have,
- Punish you for wanting a divorce,
- Manipulate custody or child support,
- Make it so difficult or costly that you will give up,
- Force you to give them everything,
- Revenge for what they allege are years of mistreatment, or
- Gain time to adjust to the idea, and hope you will change your mind.
At the beginning stages, there is also great concern over the embarrassment of having a sheriff come to a place of employment or home to serve the divorce papers. For some, this is as bad as the divorce itself.
If your spouse is the one filing for the divorce and your attorney knows it is going to be filed, your attorney may request the petition be sent to their office.
However, a constable or sheriff may still show up at your door. Try not to be alarmed by this. The sheriff is only doing a job, and if you get upset, you’re only giving your spouse pleasure.
There are clients who request their spouse be served at work to embarrass them in front of their co-workers. It’s these small things that enlighten you as to what type of divorce you are in for.
But this stage usually only lasts for the first month or two. It is not uncommon for couples to begin the process of a contested divorce and then, before the actual trial, reach agreement on the financial terms and issues relating to custody and parenting. This is called a settlement.
One of the biggest advantages of a settlement is that neither spouse will appeal it, because both by definition agree to it and thus are presumably happy with it. Both parties can therefore be assured of finality and an end to litigation.
Most Judges and lawyers prefer to settle out of court in an uncontested fashion. If you and your spouse can not come to some type of agreement on your own, typically your lawyers will help you reach one eventually.
You can only proceed with an uncontested, joint petition for divorce if you and your partner agree on all aspects of your divorce. If you cannot, you should make every effort to file first. If you’ve been served with a complaint, contact us.
The Massachusetts Family Law Group has divorce lawyers and family law attorneys who are ready to zealously advocate for you in the courtroom if necessary.
Call us at (800) 910-DIVORCE, or schedule a no-obligation consultation. We have offices and attorneys to serve clients in every one of the 351 towns and cities in Massachusetts.