BIGGEST MISTAKES PEOPLE MAKE IN DIVORCE
There is no question that some people make mistakes in divorce – big mistakes. Unfortunately, the nature of divorce is that we often have to live with these mistakes for years, and sometimes for the rest of our lives.
There are those situations, however, when the court will allow one party to modify their divorce agreement, but unless both parties agree to make changes, there must be a substantial change in circumstances. If a material change in circumstances exists, issues regarding support or parenting and custody will be granted a Judicial order. Of great importance is the fact that property and debt division are almost impossible to modify; oftentimes referred to as a “one shot division.”
What are the mistakes people make most often in divorce? Our attorneys’ list is outlined below:
- Dividing up property without a thorough inventory. Before you begin negotiating, you must develop and build a thorough inventory of what you and your spouse own and owe. Related to this point is how litigants always tend to argue over smaller items such as CD collections, kitchen items, or holiday decorations. Avoid this at all costs and remember to think strategically.
- Allowing yourself to be used as a doormat. Giving in to your spouse’s tricks and head games is a mistake. In a divorce, one spouse will often bully the other spouse into getting what they want. Don’t let bullying threats scare you out of doing what’s right for you and your children. Attorney Irwin M. Pollack or any of the lawyers from our firm will protect you from your spouse’s treats and stop his or her pressure from affecting your goals.
- Having unrealistic expectations. The combined income that supported one household now must support two households. It is not uncommon for finances to be tight for a period of time.
- Relying on advice from friends and family. An experienced family law attorney, not friends or family, is the best source for information about how the courts generally rule on divorce issues.
- Insisting on keeping the family home. It may not be realistic to keep the marital home if you cannot afford the payments associated with it. Until you address divorce finances, you won’t know for sure.
- Failing to employ an effective divorce strategy whereby you commit to proceeding on an uncontested divorce track, or if you and your spouse cannot agree, failing to recognize the need to file first.
- Discussing “adult matters” with the children. It is important to keep discussions concerning child support, custody and parenting time, discovery and certain documents, etc. between the parents. It is also inappropriate to discuss issues such as child-related expenses, which parent should get custody, etc. with or around the children.
- Failing to develop a specific parenting plan. After your divorce is final, your relationship with your future ex-spouse will change. Sometimes the relationship changes for the better, and sometimes it changes for the worse. The more specific you can be with the start and end times for your children’s parenting time, vacation times, holiday times, etc., the easier the process will be on your children because they will have some routine when the rest of their routines have been interrupted.
Our family law attorneys have become zealous advocates championing the best interest of our client’s children. We highly recommend a detailed agreement between both parents. Review our Premium Parenting Plan here, and to get yours, start filling-out our Parenting Plan Questionnaire.
- Neglecting to file modifications with the court. When parents reach agreements between themselves after the divorce is final, it is important to file those agreements with the court. Otherwise, these new agreements will be neither acknowledged nor enforceable.
- Not keeping meticulous records of support payments. You must keep proof of each and every support payment you make or receive, whether it be a receipt, copy of the check or money order. If you do not keep records, you may have to pay twice in the event a question arises concerning the actual payment.
- Not realizing the possible benefits of paying alimony. Many people hear the word “alimony” and cringe. The concept of continuing to give their spouse money after the divorce is final is so unattractive that they will avoid it at all costs. However, paying spousal support instead of child support or to decrease a property award can be financially beneficial to the obligor. Alimony is tax-deductible to the obligor, and taxable income to the recipient. Increasing spousal support may lead to decreased child support, and said support is not deductible to the obligor.
- Becoming too impatient with the process, becoming emotional and settling too quickly. Don’t make emotionally-charged decisions just because you’re uncomfortable.
The divorce lawyers at The Massachusetts Family Law Group and Massachusetts Flat-Fee Divorce Attorneys are here to help you determine what will work best for you and your child. We have offices serving each of the 351 towns and cities in Massachusetts. To learn more, call (800) 910-DIVORCE or contact us.