ARE YOU CONSIDERING A DIVORCE?

Nobody other than you can determine whether or not divorce is your best option, but there are some general questions which help the majority of people decide.  As you go through the decision-making process, your answers to these questions may crystallize some of your thoughts and feelings as to whether you should stay or go:

1. Do you still love your spouse?  This is perhaps the most important starting point in terms of asking yourself a series of honest questions about your relationship. If you do not, and every day that you stay in the relationship is becoming harder and harder, then you should probably get to the next step of finding a divorce lawyer to represent you.  There is absolutely no point in moving forward if your love for that person has completely died, or if you do not respect your spouse in some fundamental way.
   
   
2. Are the reasons to end your marriage stronger than those to stay in your marriage?  Obviously, the lust may have dissipated, but have you thought of the logical reasons and benefits to staying in the marriage?  Remember, married couples may file taxes differently and receive different tax deductions and rates. What about your children?  While some may tell you how separating from your spouse hurts the children psychologically and emotionally, others will suggest that once children see a happier parent they are better served. 
   
   
3. Have you been honest about your feelings with your spouse?  Are you holding in certain information or feelings that you have failed to disclose?  While your spouse’s initial reaction could make things harder at first, there may be some things that need to be brought out into the open before you can move on and heal the relationship.
   
   
4. Has anything occurred between the two of you that would absolutely prevent your staying together?  Can you get past it or is it just time to raise the white flag?
   
   
5. Do you have any conditions for staying together?  If you or your spouse has had an affair, has a gambling problem, or has done something unethical that you do not approve of, look inside your heart and ask yourself if you can recommit to this relationship.

Except in the case of infidelity and perhaps domestic violence, the decision to stay married or get divorced is one that often takes time to consider.  Maybe you and your spouse have been fighting for the survival of your marriage for months or years without a lot of progress. Maybe you’ll give it another try with the help of a marriage counselor.  Some people just don’t have it in them to try anymore.

One final thought:  Whatever you do decide, know that there is life after divorce.  Ask our attorneys, or…talk to half of the population that has already survived divorce!